Maybe a Butterfly After All: according to my friend . . .

Last night after the worship encounter evening at our church (all music, no sermon) I talked to my friend about my travel plan, and she said I was going to be like a butterfly. She said I came here to North Idaho like a caterpillar, and have been in a cocoon for a long time (my comfy apartment?) and now will be coming out of the cocoon to be like a butterfly in my future travel (and service) life. I thought it was cool synchronicity that she came up with the butterfly analogy right after I'd written a blog post claiming not to be a social butterfly!

#vanlife

Truth is, the van life will put me into much closer contact with other human beings in the future, and maybe that's one of the reasons I must go there. Right now, I spend most of my time in an ivory tower. A nice two-bedroom apartment on the third floor, with a great view. Today my great view started with wet streets, from rain, and now, in the last hour, turned white with big snowflakes. Like I said, snow was on the way.

Gratitudes:

1. So grateful for the worship encounter evenings at my church, once a month. Awesome experience last night! Give it all to Jesus - and trust Him for the right results - in EVERYTHING ...

2. I'm grateful for the discussion I had with my friend (Nita) about prayer . . . about how we need to give every situation to Jesus in prayer. He wants to hear our concerns. He already knows! But He wants us to be able to identify and verbalize our concerns to Him, and trust Him with them. For example - my difficult relationships with siblings and a few other family members. I can't fix a thing and have done plenty to mess things up... so I feel my efforts are hopeless. This morning I was ruminating about my situation again, and realized that this is a situation I need to identify, pray about, and give to the Lord, and He will do His Will... which is the best thing that can be done for all involved. Praise the Lord!

3. I am grateful for Naomi's neglect of me (parental estrangement) because it has taught me to understand what God feels when His children turn away from Him. Ah, the pain of it all . . . but I was one of those children turning away from Him toward false gods and false prophets, and now that I've been welcomed back, like the prodigal son, having spent so much of my life in ignorance (agnosticism, the word, derives from the Greek word for ignorance) I'm finding Jesus still loves me, and shines His light on me, and gives me the full heart I've always yearned for. I know I am loved, and what is better than that?



Plan for the day:

1. Figure out a new budget, heading into 2019, accounting for travel expenses

2. Write a book review for my lindajomartin.com blog . . . I want to review the best books I read during 2018. I'm starting with Blue Highways.

3. Walk 4000 steps and cycle 30 minutes on my exercise bike while listening to an audiobook

Currently reading:

1. The Nightingale, by Kristen Hannah. I passed the half-way point and now I'm headed downhill. That's what the second half of a book feels like to me - the downhill half of a hike.

2. Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young. I've been reading this devotional since last summer, and like it a lot. It always reminds me how much Jesus loves me.

Not a Social Butterfly: I have privacy needs

I usually manage to have a few good friends wherever I move to, and I'm very grateful for them. However, nobody has ever accused me of being a social butterfly, and that's probably because I'm not one. I'm the kind of person who is quiet when you first meet me, usually. I'm reticent, and hesitant. I'm happy to observe until I find out where I fit into a social situation or relationship.

In a vandwelling forum I've found others like me! Quite a revelation! People who live in their vans are often those who are happy to isolate themselves from the social situations most people flock to. No wonder I'm attracted to vandwelling. I just want to be left alone much of the time, and it isn't because I don't want to be with you, it is just that I value my alone-time.

I do make efforts to go out. I went to church this morning, for example, and I'll go to the worship evening. But I'm not going there to see anyone in particular, except Jesus Christ. So, that's not especially a social event yet of course it involves contact with others in my church, which I find enjoyable. They are all such sweet people. Who could not love that? Seriously!

What do I need my alone-time for? Well, it is my opportunity for creativity such as blog writing and art. It is also a great time to read a book, and since I'm the Book Lady on YouTube I do have to read books. I love to read books! Book reading takes gobs of alone-time. That's why I say I have privacy needs. Silence, quiet, solitude, peacefulness, serenity - these are all words that describe my preferred lifestyle.

I wonder what it will be like to live in a van (which I'm determined I'll soon do) and not know anyone around me in a town, and not have any social pressures to do anything unless I want to. I can wake up in the morning, get ready for whatever I want to do that day, and relax inside my van or drive and sight-see. If I need a shower I can go work out at the gym and then take my shower. If it is Sunday I'll want to find a church to worship at. If I want to make a bookish video I can hunt for a bookstore or visit a library. I can anticipate all kinds of great use for my alone time while living in a van, though I won't always be alone. The chance of making deep, lasting friendships that place social pressures on me are unlikely.

I'll still be around people when I want to be - at tourist areas, at laundromats, at gyms, in stores, at the library, and at churches on Sunday . . . I'll not be totally isolated. I'll be just fine.

I had an acquaintance who tried to make me think there was something wrong with wanting to be alone. I think there's something wrong with trying to make people feel guilty for wanting to be alone much of the time. I make time for my friends, but I'm not on call whenever/wherever . . . of course, if my friend needs me for something important, I'll switch everything around and try to make time to help, if at all possible, God willing. I hope I would never desert a friend in need.

Gratitudes:

1. I'm grateful for the church I go to - not only because Jesus is there, but because it is full of people who love Him.

2. I'm grateful that I'm reading a novel I consider great literature right now. I read it right before I go to sleep at night.

3. I'm grateful that my son phones to talk to me frequently.

Plan for the day:

1. Go to church. - done

2. Well, it is Sunday - so I'm relaxing and taking it easy.

3. Worship evening at the church.

Currently reading:

1. Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? by Jeanette Winterson - I don't remember buying this last time I subbed to Audible.com - but there it is in my library, so I'm listening to it while riding my exercise bike (30 minutes at a time). So far, holds my interest.

2. Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking, by S.J. Scott and Barrie Davenport - can't remember why I was inspired to buy the Kindle version of this book, but that's probably why I need it. I started reading it last night.

Snow is Coming to North Idaho - You just know it is because it always does

I've lived in North Idaho since 2013. I've been through five winters here and am about to go through the sixth. Each winter has been different. One winter it was extremely cold, with occasional snow. The next winter there was some snow, but very little. One winter there were many hail storms. One winter the snow got deep and stayed for months, and months. Brrrr... the memories. One winter we had a lot of electrical storms.

Now, looking at my sixth (and what may be my final North Idaho winter) I wonder where the hail storms and lightening went. I could really do without that lightening. Also, hail is not cool. Well, it is cold, but not good... I have one dent on the hood of my car from hail - but that happened in New Mexico while I was on the way home from Texas in 2017. Still, I'm hoping for no hail.

I live in an apartment ... and there are more cars here than the awning will shelter. Sometimes I get a sheltered parking space and sometimes I don't. If we have to have hail, I'll be parking under the shelter and leaving it there. I can live without going anywhere. I did it before when I didn't have a car. There are ways to get food delivered - I don't have to go out for that.

The weather report shows rain this week until Saturday, and then two days of snow. Our first snow this year was November 9. Well, looks like we're in for it. Today I'm going out to Coeur d'Alene to get things done before the snow comes. Might as well get on with it.

Gratitudes:

1. I'm grateful for the car my mother gave me in January 2017. I was so destitute without a car for three and a half years. This has helped tremendously.

2. Grateful for the food supplements I have on hand, though I need to buy more Vitamin E.

3. I'm grateful for my new Kindle Fire ... I'm getting a lot of use out of it, both for Kindle books and Audible audio books.

Plan for the day: do errands before the snow comes

1. Go test drive the van

2. Shop for a new cell phone plan

3. Go see Tina

Currently reading:

1. The Nightingale, by Kristen Hannah. I read about fifty pages last night. Almost half way through the book.

2. Never be Fat Again, by Raymond Francis . . . I'm reading chapter 11, about food supplements.

The Story is No Story Today

I want to have a story for you every day, but today's story is only that there's no story. My imagination isn't racing, it isn't producing, it isn't revealing anything for me to share with you.

Oh, I could go into fiction and create a story that way, but what do I have to tell you about my life? I'm sitting in my apartment, the evening news is on TV. I've had the remainder of this post written for a while now... the gratitudes, plan for the day, and current reading list. All that had to wait until I could find a story to tell you.

I am serious about sharing my life stories on this blog. One little story per day. Can I do that? Honestly, I don't do well with consistency. The words "every day" are anathema to me.

Recently I bought a book about story telling from life - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I Learned to Live a Better Story. I've only read a few pages, so far. Apparently I'm supposed to find a better story by living a more interesting life.

Well, hang on there! I'm planning to give up my apartment to move into a van... would that make life more interesting?

My main reason for doing that is ... well, there are a lot of reasons. How can I choose just one?

1. If I stay in my apartment for the next 20 years it will cost about 150,000 dollars. Living in a van would cut my expenses.
2. I've been desperately wishing for road trips. Well, in a van, my life will be nothing but road trips.
3. I have a blog called Journey! California that I've wanted to develop ever since the early days of the internet. What's been stopping me? Mainly - the opportunity to travel. But now I'll have that opportunity - though I won't confine my efforts to California only.

So, my no-story day has turned into a bit of a story. My story today is that I need a more exciting life, and the plan is in the works. Tomorrow, hopefully, I'll test drive that van.

---

Gratitudes:

1. I'm grateful that I've got an audio version of the Bible. Some days I don't feel like sitting at my desk to read, and it helps to play the audio Bible instead. Today I listened to a few chapters of Proverbs, and some Psalms.

2. I'm grateful for the many friends I've made at Booktube.

3. I'm grateful for a day without rain (hopefully) tomorrow. That will help a lot as I want to test drive that van.

Plan for the day:

1. Pay bills

2. Bullet journal border video

3. Install and use new scanner

Currently reading:

1. The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer, chapter 1

2. The Nightingale, by Kristen Hannah

I've been reading both The Nightingale and People of the Book. Last night I decided that I must choose only one ... two novels at a time - that's just too much for me. So I decided to finish The Nightingale first.

Creative Work and Blogging Plans

As much as I neglect it - this blog is still a living, breathing entity. So long as I am.

I'm considering the future of this blog. It was my first-ever blog and since then I've gone through many other blogs via WordPress... but I kept this one Blogger.com blog because it is the first.

These days I call this my main blog: LindaJoMartin.com - it is focused on books and writing - one of my obsessions in life.

I'm getting older. 64 now. Looks like life is limited so I considered what to do with my blogs from years past. What I'd like to do is compile all my blog posts from all the blogs together with my compilation of "morning pages" (my journals) and other things I've written - and publish them all on Amazon as a series of books chronicling the life of Linda.

Anyhow, life goes on. This blog has been fun...

Here's a photo of me now, from earlier this year, in January, when I went to visit my mother in Texas.



And here's my latest video - from a hike up Mineral Ridge Trail, near Coeur d'Alene. When I did this video, I didn't get to the top of the ridge, but I've climbed to the top twice since then. I love this trail loop... 3.3 miles. Awesome climb! I'll have to do another video about it.



Here are a few of my most recent book reviews:
Hillbilly Elegy – Book Lady’s Review
Book Review: One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia
Abusive Men: Why Does He Do That? – Book Lady’s Review

I also wrote this recently:
Baptism of Jesus Location: Jordan River

And a couple of prayers:
Gratitude for Salvation
Release From Sin

Here's something I wrote a while back but recently re-posted to my main blog:
Finding Your True Writer's Voice

It's Been One of Those Days When It Seems Like Nothing Gets Done

I feel like I've accomplished nothing today. It wasn't because I didn't try. I've been trying to organize my audiobook collection. I'd never transferred most of these books from my old computer, and since that one isn't working well, sometimes using it is an exercise in frustration and futility.

SanDisk Clip
Buy at Amazon

Well, today I did it - I transferred all the audiobooks to my portable hard drive then installed them in my new computer, and transferred some to my SanDisk Clip.

I can fit a lot of audiobooks and music on that because I have a 32GB micro-hd card in it. I have an entire audio NKJV Bible on the card, and many other things. I spent some hours deleting things I no longer want and need. In the process I found a recorded sermon from my friend's church, and stopped to listen to that. It was about when Jesus appeared to His disciples when they were fishing (this was after His resurrection) and told them where to cast their net to get fish.

This audiobook organization is something that's been on my to-do list at Workflowy.com for a long time, so I'm glad I took time to do it, even though the work isn't completely done yet. That's probably why I feel like nothing is done - because I can't cross it off the list, unfortunately... and not much else got done.

The one drawback to being a web worker is that I'm never done with my work. There's always a massive number of tasks left to do. I can't just walk away from it like I'd do if I had only eight hours at a job in someone else's business.

Videography and Me

One of the most frustrating things I do is... videography. I am trying to learn to use my new video editor. That's already a task. But the worst part of my video making journey is that I am not a speaker... I'm more of a writer. So getting my thoughts out there on a video is very challenging for me.

Case in point, here is one of my first videos ever. I tried to memorize what I wanted to say. It came out very stilted. I noticed that when I spoke freely it sounded better. I look like a scared rabbit in this video, and that summarizes my problem with video making.



Now you've seen my worst video ever. I keep that video on my channel to remind myself of where I came from. It is also a good reminder of what I'd like to include in my book review videos.

I bought this book to train myself to create
better videos. My brother recommends it.
How to Shoot Video That Doesn't Suck
by Steve Stockman
Buy at Amazon

Background noise on that video is outrageous!! I still don't have a good camera.

My goal is to learn to produce better videos, that will gradually improve. I'd like to produce mini-documentaries rather than just splatter my life all over YouTube.

What I've done so far has been fun, a learning experience, challenging, difficult, and frustrating. However, I will continue on, and learn to make better videos in the future.

YouTube Dreamer - My Plans for the Future

I am still dreaming of developing my BookLady YouTube channel, though I haven't added to it in months. What am I waiting for?

Last year I had a goal of creating 100 videos but I created only about fifty... and currently there are only 47 videos on the channel. I may have deleted a few. So I didn't achieve my goal and that is always a downer.

Adobe Premiere Elements 13
Buy at Amazon

I was hampered by lack of a good video editor. When I ordered my new computer a few months ago, I had a video editor installed before Dell shipped it to me. My new video editor is lightweight - I've got Adobe Premiere Elements 13 - there are other much better (and much more expensive) video editors such as Adobe Premiere Pro CC - but what I've got is a good place to start and will be more stable and trustworthy than some of the free video software programs I endured last year.

Today I looked at my BookLady YouTube channel and found that some of the videos with the most views are my book reviews! I didn't make many of them last year because I thought they would bore people, but apparently the opposite is true. Fewer people looked at my walking and biking videos. Live and learn! I will make more book review videos in the future since they are so popular.

The Newbery Challenge Rides Again!

I'm back to the Newbery Challenge! Almost twenty years ago I decided to read all the Newbery books, and now I'm inspired to get going on that again. So far I've read 42 out of 89 books, so I'm not even half-way there, and that's just the Newbery Medal WINNERS. I haven't counted the honor books and how many of them I've read. One of these days, I will. When I feel like I have more time on my hands, I guess.

I was inspired to read more of the Newbery books because I'm updating my Newbery pages online, starting with my page for the 1920's. My next job will be to do the page for the 60's, starting today. The reason why is that the 60's page is getting a lot more traffic than the other pages, so the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

I also started a blog for recording my impressions of the books I'm reading. I'll also be reviewing indie and small press books for teens and children. Yay!! I have a thing for children's literature!

I'm starting with the first Newbery book: The Story of Mankind ... it is a history book! In subsequent years fiction took over as the most common type of book honored by the Newbery Medal, but occasionally there are non-fiction books chosen as honor books. Some of them are excellent, too!

I've read enough books from the Newbery list to know that some of them are great and some, you just wonder why they were ever published, let alone chosen for this honor. As a writer of children's and teen's literature I believe luck and "who you know" count for something. And I read the good, the bad, and the ugly because it is all instructional for my career.

What's got me excited is that I have found communities of people doing the Newbery Challenge... one great group is at Goodreads, and I found out about 2 children's librarians (guys) that are doing a Newbery challenge with videos. I will also be doing videos!

Life's Annoying... Fight Back!

Here's a fascinating look at the reality of American life and what to do about it... No Need to Stew: A Few Tips to Cope With Life's Annoyances.

This reminds me of the time my mother opened the door to a children's book salesman. For some reason door-to-door salesmen irritated her beyond belief. The young man at the door shoved a large book in front of her and said, "You can have this free..."

She grabbed the book, said "Thank you" and shut the door.

The salesman stood outside trying to tell her the book was free only if she bought something but she wasn't impressed.

"That'll teach him," she said.

Hey Mom... do you remember that as clearly as I do? I'm still laughing at your audacity to this day.

Happy Camp History Research for my Novel

When I woke up this morning ... first thing, I picked up a copy of the Siskiyou County Pioneer - the historical society's annual publication.

The one I own (the ONLY one I own) is about the history of bootlegging and prostitution in the county, the 1994 edition of the Pioneer. The reason I bought it was... because I have in mind to write a children's book about this area.. taking place in about 1920. I'm trying to get a good grasp on what the culture of that era was. Still I have so many questions. Were there telephones in Happy Camp then? If so, were they just on this side of the Klamath River or were they on the other side too? Were there any wild horses then? Were bootleggers out here very concerned about being caught? How many elementary schools were there in 1920 in this area, and where exactly were they?

Bird by Bird
by Anne Lamott
Buy at Amazon

Sure, I could make up a lot of stuff and probably most people would never know the difference, but do I want to do that or do I want the absolute facts? How deeply must a historical novelist dig in order to find factual data for a good novel? Somehow, it is much easier to write a fantasy... and that's why my first novel IS a fantasy... at the time I didn't want to stop to research because I knew I was going to write that novel in a hurry. (It took 17 days to write 50,152 words, and since it is a children's novel, that's more than enough.)

Writing Down the Bones
Freeing the Writer Within
by Natalie Goldberg
Buy at Amazon

At night now I'm reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott... I just love that book. It is strong on both humor and good writer's information. I like it better than the book I read last month - Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, though that's one of the classics for writers.

Keith stayed up all night last night. Now he looks so tired. He says he couldn't sleep... like he really tried.

(later...) Now it is noon and he is resting. He said he planned to wake up in an hour and I told him I wouldn't wake him up. We'll see what happens.

All I've done so far this morning is write this and read my email. I have too much email coming and and must delete most of it. I just scan for information except on the lists I own, and the web design lists - I try to get as much information out of those as possible.

River Girl
by Linda Jo Martin
Buy at Amazon

Update: My novel, River Girl, was published in 2011.