Sunday, December 02, 2018

Not a Social Butterfly: I have privacy needs

I usually manage to have a few good friends wherever I move to, and I'm very grateful for them. However, nobody has ever accused me of being a social butterfly, and that's probably because I'm not one. I'm the kind of person who is quiet when you first meet me, usually. I'm reticent, and hesitant. I'm happy to observe until I find out where I fit into a social situation or relationship.

In a vandwelling forum I've found others like me! Quite a revelation! People who live in their vans are often those who are happy to isolate themselves from the social situations most people flock to. No wonder I'm attracted to vandwelling. I just want to be left alone much of the time, and it isn't because I don't want to be with you, it is just that I value my alone-time.

I do make efforts to go out. I went to church this morning, for example, and I'll go to the worship evening. But I'm not going there to see anyone in particular, except Jesus Christ. So, that's not especially a social event yet of course it involves contact with others in my church, which I find enjoyable. They are all such sweet people. Who could not love that? Seriously!

What do I need my alone-time for? Well, it is my opportunity for creativity such as blog writing and art. It is also a great time to read a book, and since I'm the Book Lady on YouTube I do have to read books. I love to read books! Book reading takes gobs of alone-time. That's why I say I have privacy needs. Silence, quiet, solitude, peacefulness, serenity - these are all words that describe my preferred lifestyle.

I wonder what it will be like to live in a van (which I'm determined I'll soon do) and not know anyone around me in a town, and not have any social pressures to do anything unless I want to. I can wake up in the morning, get ready for whatever I want to do that day, and relax inside my van or drive and sight-see. If I need a shower I can go work out at the gym and then take my shower. If it is Sunday I'll want to find a church to worship at. If I want to make a bookish video I can hunt for a bookstore or visit a library. I can anticipate all kinds of great use for my alone time while living in a van, though I won't always be alone. The chance of making deep, lasting friendships that place social pressures on me are unlikely.

I'll still be around people when I want to be - at tourist areas, at laundromats, at gyms, in stores, at the library, and at churches on Sunday . . . I'll not be totally isolated. I'll be just fine.

I had an acquaintance who tried to make me think there was something wrong with wanting to be alone. I think there's something wrong with trying to make people feel guilty for wanting to be alone much of the time. I make time for my friends, but I'm not on call whenever/wherever . . . of course, if my friend needs me for something important, I'll switch everything around and try to make time to help, if at all possible, God willing. I hope I would never desert a friend in need.


Gratitudes:

1. I'm grateful for the church I go to - not only because Jesus is there, but because it is full of people who love Him.

2. I'm grateful that I'm reading a novel I consider great literature right now. I read it right before I go to sleep at night.

3. I'm grateful that my son phones to talk to me frequently.

Plan for the day:

1. Go to church. - done

2. Well, it is Sunday - so I'm relaxing and taking it easy.

3. Worship evening at the church.

Currently reading:

1. Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? by Jeanette Winterson - I don't remember buying this last time I subbed to Audible.com - but there it is in my library, so I'm listening to it while riding my exercise bike (30 minutes at a time). So far, holds my interest.

2. Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking, by S.J. Scott and Barrie Davenport - can't remember why I was inspired to buy the Kindle version of this book, but that's probably why I need it. I started reading it last night.

1 comment:

  1. I always knew we were kindred spirits. I've always loved solitude but for much of my life I also enjoyed deep relationships with select people, and as advisors to the college group at our church in our early years of marriage our home was always full of people. I also enjoyed my family and being a parent. I always had jobs where I met the public -- as a library clerk, a teacher, and a bookseller. After I moved away from my social contacts to an area where I had few close friends and was not as active in my new church, I spent more and more time alone. I do live with my husband, but I usually hide in my office to work when he's home when we aren't having a conversation. I'm glad he's there, but he watches TV and don't. Sometimes that makes me feel guilty, because he's an extrovert and needs a lot of humans and he'd probably rather I was in there talking to him more as I used to be. But those were in the days before we had a TV and we'd sit together in the family room, each with our own book.

    I go out as little as I can get by with. I love to read and study nature and take photo walks. Studying nature is one way I get to know my Creator better. Reading the Bible is another way. I would not, however, like to live in a van. I enjoy the comforts of a home in a familiar place too much. I enjoy observing the seasonal changes in my local area and keeping track of the plants in my local park by the river.

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