Sunday, May 11, 2003

Nocturnal on Mother's Day

Sunday - Mother's Day... Well, its like this. I stayed up all night last night... got some web work done. Should have studied more but I'll do that tonight. (DHTML class and CSS2 class)

Today I woke up before noon because my sweet 14-year-old daughter made breakfast for me. Pancakes and eggs, apple juice and coffee. Wasn't that nice? Then I fell asleep again and woke up about 3:30. Where did my day go? But I need to work more tonight and I like doing it when the house is quiet, so that's my life. Also studying that DHTML book is no picnic and doing it while my kids are awake is futile. My desk is between the kitchen and the living room.

I heard from my oldest son, Joshua, age 30... via email he wished me a happy Mother's Day. I didn't hear from my two oldest daughters but my oldest (Simoné) usually remembers me. The other one (Naomi) pretends someone else is her mother and never contacts me at all. I didn't raise her although I desperately wanted to... and that's the result. Sometimes I feel sad about it but more and more I feel jaded about it... not sure I could explain but I feel its her decision and her loss. She's only got one real mother and I've got four other children so who's the loser? Of course I'd always welcome her back just like God welcomes all His children, even the misguided ones. But I'm tired of losing sleep and tears over it. So I don't. She's an adult now and can take responsibility for her decisions or make better ones when she realizes she's been... misguided.

My youngest, a son... AARON... didn't know it was Mother's Day. I reminded him. LOL He's 12, almost 13 (in a few days).

Keith wished me a Happy Mother's Day (my boyfriend) ... he wasn't able to call his mom because he doesn't know where she is right now. She's been in a half-way house in Jacksonville, Florida for years... until recently when she was transferred to some other kind of facility - maybe a convalescent type hospital... we don't really know and he's had trouble getting answers from her other family members. She's bipolar and diabetic. Very sad... she must have it bad because she's been institutionalized for years. I've never met her (have never been to Florida).

I emailed my mom. Then I tried to phone her but the cell phone number I had for her now belongs to someone else. Last I heard she was leaving Texas to spend a few months in California. That's good, since I'm in California too... and so are all her other kids.

Wherever you are Mom, I love you! Happy Mother's Day and many more!

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