Speaking of kids...

Speaking of kids... my second daughter's birthday was on January 14. For some reason that morning I started my journaling (I journal in a notebook regularly) and this poem insisted on being written:

Happy Birthday Naomi! - You're 24 today. :)

Even though you're far away
You know I think of you every day.
I wonder what you say and do
And is the world being good to you.
I wonder if you're happy now.
If you are, please take a bow.
But if your heart is sad and blue,
Remember the love I have for you.

...
Anyhow, after writing all that sappy stuff I tried to decide what to do with it. You see.. Naomi is my child who decided years ago never to talk to me again. She was raised by her father and his girlfriend, doesn't know me hardly at all, and apparently believed some brainwashing the barren g/f did in order to have "a child of her own." Long sad story... which I'm tired of relating.

So I was trying to decide what to do with my birthday poem. I thought about posting it here or on one of my websites just hoping someday she might find it. I thought about leaving it in my journal only just in case she might someday read that. Then I suddenly decided to send it to my oldest daughter and ask her to forward it if she had the heart to. Well, guess what - she did it! I'm so happy. Naomi may hate me, despise me, whatever... I don't know. But I do know that 24 years ago on January 14, 1981 I gave birth to her. It hurt one hell of a lot - in fact that was my most painful birth of the five. I loved her from before her birth and still to this day love her and I've never stopped. So on January 14... I feel the day belongs partly to me. The poem, to me, felt like a gift from God. It was that spontaneous. I even had a good cry over it, and usually I hate crying, but this felt good.

I Leave You My Jounals

Last night Keith asked me about my journals... not the online ones, but the ones I keep on real paper, in spiral bound notebooks. He asked, "Do you have a lot of those collected here someplace?"

I said yes.

Usually he barely notices what I'm doing, but obviously I fill one notebook after another with my writing - they have to be someplace... so he asked me how many.

I said I've probably got between ten and twenty of them now.

He asked me what to do with them if I die. Morbid thought!

Well, I told him to give them to some historical society. I don't know if any of my kids would even care to have them, or if they would value them. For all I know they'll look at my volumes of paper and toss them in the trash. So I said probably some local historical society would be willing to take them on. If not, well... give them to the kids and whatever happens happens.

I admit, I did write these somewhat with an eye to the future, hoping someone, someday would take an interest in my ramblings about daily life.

Peaceful Day

This hasn't been a very eventful day. I made a to-do list and got only about half the things done. I've been indoors almost all day - except for the time I spent writing in my journal, out in the meadow. Ah well, at least I got some housework done. My daughter wanted her ears pierced and I did that, and then she surprised me by cutting her hair. It looks nice.