Where Am I Going With This?

Gratitudes:
1. I am grateful for good weather today. 90/55 no rain.
2. I am grateful for YouTube art instruction videos.
3. I am grateful for remembering to read the Bible first thing in the morning.
Plan for the day:
1. Paint more (working on Sanctuary in my journal, using Daler-Rowney fluorescent inks).
2. Pay bills. Do my accounting.
3. Celebrate Autumn's arrival.
Currently reading:
1. Galatians / Adventuring Through the Bible
2. My Brother Michael, by Mary Stewart
3. Write Like a Writer
4. Amazing Grace, by Eric Metaxas

I've been wondering "Where am I going with this?" - and this applies to a lot of different elements in my life. My journal-painting here is called "Observer" so I will take this moment to observe my life.

1. Where am I going with my art? - Right now I'm still learning and practicing. That's why these paintings are done in a journal, rather than on expensive canvas or paper of some kind. I'm learning to use the Daler-Rowney inks as paint. I don't expect my little journal paintings to be perfect, but do want them to help me gain insight and skill in artistry. Recently one friend said they reminded her of the works of Matisse. Another friend said they reminded her of the art of Picasso! I take that as high praise. To be honest I'd be most thrilled to hear my work was similar to El Greco - but I'm not doing anything like what he painted, so I'll take Matisse and Picasso. Thank you! Such great encouragement! A few months ago I asked God what I was going to do with the art, and received inspiration that it would be for children's literature illustration and for teaching art classes. What's so awesome is that as of a week ago, I'm now teaching art classes! I have only one student - my granddaughter - but she seems very dedicated to the classes. We make marvelous messes together. She wanted to try abstract art. I have plenty of student grade acrylic paints to do this with. Great fun there!

2. Where am I going with this blog? - Well, this blog has been hanging around my life since 2001. I started in 2000 on just a web page prior to finding the Blogger.com website. Then I transferred my earlier postings here. I'm not sure whether any of them still exist. I've been fascinated by blogging from the time I first heard of it. This blog is more than 20 years old now! So, where I'm going with the blog is unknown. I'm leaving a little trace of my life on the universe - and I think that's all there is to it. This blog is where I can just talk about my life. I try to leave out the depressing parts, to be honest. I don't want to come in here and start writing about being depressed. There's no sense in being a downer in the world. I'd rather write things that are uplifting and inspirational. Complaining is so unattractive. I hope I don't complain much. I think truth-telling is important in blogging - but does anyone want to read about the mess I've made of my life? Probably not. So I'm just saying, even though my life has been messy, God loves me and picked me up off the streets of North Idaho when I was at my lowest, and He gave me a reason to live, and a reason to be happy. He fills me with joy and peace. The Holy Spirit works inside me to transform me. These are the things I feel are most important. If I'm depressed it probably means I need to pray and do something that makes me happy, like painting.

3. Where am I going with my life? - Sometimes I wonder. Like, every day! I feel like a useless person yet I know God has a purpose for me. I think sometimes I'm doing something for Him and I don't even know what it is, or when I do it. I have to trust Him in this. I'm seriously totally feeling like I'm nothing without Him - and I just have to soldier on day by day, hopefully doing whatever it is He wants me to do. I pray about it in the mornings - asking Him to guide me, and show me what He wants me to do. The art lessons with my granddaughter gave me a sense of purpose I haven't had for a while. I hope we make a lot of art progress together. I might want to include other children too. One day at a time. God is in charge of that area of my life. I'm trusting Him. So, where am I going with my life? This is not known. I live on a derelict property (home was destroyed in a forest fire 2 years ago) and I ask the Lord to develop the land. I would love to see it cultivated and for some building to happen - but also I see that my strength is waning as I get older so a great gardener, I am not. I tell myself one small part of the land at a time, but I haven't even been able to do that. I had some lovely tomato plants this year and they didn't produce even one tomato - I got flowers and that was all... so I'm thinking that vegetable gardening is not my talent. I think this coming year I'll just plant flowers.

God bless us, every one.