Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Speaking of kids...

Speaking of kids... my second daughter's birthday was on January 14. For some reason that morning I started my journaling (I journal in a notebook regularly) and this poem insisted on being written:

Happy Birthday Naomi! - You're 24 today. :)

Even though you're far away
You know I think of you every day.
I wonder what you say and do
And is the world being good to you.
I wonder if you're happy now.
If you are, please take a bow.
But if your heart is sad and blue,
Remember the love I have for you.

...
Anyhow, after writing all that sappy stuff I tried to decide what to do with it. You see.. Naomi is my child who decided years ago never to talk to me again. She was raised by her father and his girlfriend, doesn't know me hardly at all, and apparently believed some brainwashing the barren g/f did in order to have "a child of her own". Long sad story... which I'm tired of relating.

So I was trying to decide what to do with my birthday poem. I thought about posting it here or on one of my websites just hoping someday she might find it. I thought about leaving it in my journal only just in case she might someday read that. Then I suddenly decided to send it to my oldest daughter and ask her to forward it if she had the heart to. Well, guess what - she did it! I'm so happy. Naomi may hate me, despise me, whatever... I don't know. But I do know that 24 years ago on January 14, 1981 I gave birth to her. It hurt one hell of a lot - in fact that was my most painful birth of the five. I loved her from before her birth and still to this day love her and I've never stopped. So on January 14... I feel the day belongs partly to me. The poem, to me, felt like a gift from God. It was that spontaneous. I even had a good cry over it, and usually I hate crying, but this felt good.

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