Sunday, July 14, 2002

My Fiftieth Birthday

Well, Saturday July 13 (which has been over for 2 hours and 20 minutes now) was my fiftieth birthday. It wasn't so bad. I realized, "I'm fifty, I'm not dead." Yes, it could be worse. I think the day before was worse... I sat thinking all day that it was the last day of being in my 40's. That was just so wretched, because you can't hold onto it, can't keep it... time just slips away and there's no controlling it.

Speaking of controlling time - it is really beginning to bug me that people say "I don't have time" [to do something]. I've probably said it a thousand or more times myself... but that is so bogus. EVERYONE has time. Why don't people say "I chose to do something else with my time" instead? I'll tell you why.... it is TOO HONEST.... something like saying "your concerns are not a priority for me".

So anyhow - to celebrate my birthday - well, I didn't get the dinner out I wanted because we're low on income this month. I went to a great community picnic here in town - really wonderful to be there - and they even acknowledged my birthday as one of the musicians played the birthday song on the keyboard... really cool if you ask me. Because I couldn't take my whole family out to dinner for my birthday, I ended up going to the café by myself to re-write the outline for my novel in progress. I can spend two hours writing there for less than three dollars (I always buy coffee and garlic bread).

Anyhow, I just wanted to add something in here about how my fiftieth birthday went so now you know how old I am and when you get to fifty (if not already) you'll know it really is quite painless.

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